The best part of my past week was on Friday night when I got to hang out with three of my good friends. We didn't do anything but hang out in my dorm room, but getting to see them and talk for hours made me feel comfortable, relaxed, and connected with my friends. Since I've been here, I've found it's more difficult to connect with other people and make new friendships. Last year I easily made friends because I was naturally talkative and outgoing – even though I test as an introvert. Now that I'm in a wheelchair I'm not as outgoing for whatever reason. It's also harder to make friends because a lot of students I think might feel uncomfortable around me which I can totally understand as my situation is completely removed from what most other people experience in their life. This is part of the reason why hanging out with these three good friends was so reassuring and soothing to me. They are completely comfortable around me which makes me feel human and normal.
My friends can always me laugh or feel better.
The worst part of my week was Wednesday because it marked the one-year anniversary of my accident. Though not quite as bad as I thought it was going to be, it still brought up bad memories and the "what if's." What if I had slept in that morning? What if I decided not to go ride? What if I rode a different route or what if I had been five minutes sooner to the intersection? There are so many of these questions, and it's hard not to think about them, but thinking about them can change nothing and only bring pain and regret. So, the only thing to do now is to just move on.
October 1, 2013
The death of Cevie (aka my bike)
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